“Felony Fart Attack” Leads To Arrest

A Largo, Florida man is facing a felony charge after what began as a bedtime butt blast… and ended with handcuffs.

Police say Anthony Gordon was in bed with his girlfriend when she asked him, apparently after one too many under-the-covers chemical attacks, to please stop farting in bed. Reasonable request. Nobody wants to sleep in a Dutch oven.

But police say Gordon didn’t take the request kindly. Words flew, she allegedly spit on him, and he allegedly grabbed her by the throat with both hands, pulling her off the bed and onto the floor.

She told police she couldn’t breathe for several seconds and managed to get free by biting his finger.

Gordon was arrested on a felony domestic-battery-by-strangulation charge and ordered to have no contact with her. Direct, or otherwise.

So, lesson from this episode: bad gas is rude. Violence is a felony. And if your relationship needs a hazmat team, it may be time to sleep with the windows open...or sleep somewhere else.

Photo: Pinellas County Jail