Stupid News

Mar 25, 2026

Caribbean Cocaine Sharks

So apparently, sharks off the coast of the Bahamas are now swimming around wired and maybe a little… *too* happy. A new study tested 85 sharks near Eleuthera Island and found nearly a third with traces of caffeine, painkillers, and even cocaine in their blood. Scientists say it’s the first time caffeine and acetaminophen have … Continue reading Caribbean Cocaine Sharks

Mar 24, 2026

Not So Grand Theft

Apparently, practice does not make perfect — at least not when it comes to robbing banks. In the Dollar Tree version of “Oceans Eleven,” Gustavo DeJesus Torres, tried to rob six Chase branches in five days… and ended up with a grand total of six hundred and five bucks. That’s right — six robberies, five … Continue reading Not So Grand Theft

Mar 23, 2026

From Bail Money To Jail Money

A guy in South Carolina gets tossed in jail for trespassing — nothing major. Next morning, he’s standing in front of the judge, and his bail is set at $250. Easy enough, right? He pulls out a wad of cash, hands over four crisp $100 bills, and says, “Keep the change.” Like he’s tipping the … Continue reading From Bail Money To Jail Money

Mar 20, 2026

Man Uses Google Translate In Attempted Robbery

In Newark, New Jersey, a guy decides he’s gonna rob an Ecuadorian restaurant—using Google Translate. Yeah. His big plan was to type his stickup note into the app, hit “translate to Spanish,” and show it to the cashier. Very 21st century of him. He even ordered a coffee first, because apparently caffeine is key to … Continue reading Man Uses Google Translate In Attempted Robbery

Mar 19, 2026

Drunk-Driving In A Golf Cart

A “pickled pensioner” in North Port, Florida, decided his golf cart was the perfect getaway car after “partying at the club” since noon. It was nine at night. His wife fell out of the cart on the way home, hit her head, and he called 911 … which was the smartest thing he did all … Continue reading Drunk-Driving In A Golf Cart

Mar 18, 2026

Man Tries To Steal Septic Tank… TWICE

This dude in Florida really, really wanted a septic tank. First, he shows up to a construction site and tries hauling it off with—wait for it—a Toyota Corolla. Yeah, that went exactly how you think it did. Someone in a Jeep chased him off, so he leaves empty-handed. But persistence is a thing, apparently. The … Continue reading Man Tries To Steal Septic Tank… TWICE

Mar 17, 2026

Man Caught Smuggling Ants Onto Plane

A Chinese guy was stopped at the airport in Nairobi, Kenya with more than two thousand live queen ants in his luggage. (Surprisingly, not in his pants.) Authorities counted about 1,948 ants crammed into little test tubes, and another 300 wrapped up in tissue paper rolls. Because apparently that’s how you pack your insect empire … Continue reading Man Caught Smuggling Ants Onto Plane

Mar 16, 2026

Ohio Overrun By Bigfoot?

Something’s up in northeast Ohio—either Bigfoot’s been busy or folks there need new glasses. Over just five days, eight sightings popped up around Portage and Trumbull counties—a “flap,” as Bigfoot buffs call it, and the biggest one since the wild ’78 Minerva wave. The first sighting on March 6 was broad daylight. A guy swears … Continue reading Ohio Overrun By Bigfoot?

Mar 13, 2026

Snake Yoga

So puppy yoga, kitten yoga and goat yoga have all had their moment — but leave it to Portland, Oregon to keep it weird and say, “You know what this needs? Snakes.” A reptile shop that already offers turtle shell waxing and tortoise spa days, is now hosting snake yoga. Owner Dru Morales came up … Continue reading Snake Yoga

Mar 12, 2026

Neighborhood Plagued By Nude Burglar

Fairfax County Virginia police are hunting for a man who’s been breaking into homes in Centreville — without bothering to put on any clothes. Yep, we’re talking about a full-blown nude burglar situation. Between March 5th and 8th, at least four residents woke up in the wee hours to find a naked stranger strolling through … Continue reading Neighborhood Plagued By Nude Burglar

Mar 11, 2026

Woman Breaks Into Home, Eats Fruity Pebbles, Pets Dog

Hitting close to home, last Tuesday, a woman in Springfield, Missouri walked into a random house, poured herself some Fruity Pebbles, and started petting the family dog. Totally normal Tuesday, right? The homeowner’s kid smelled something burning and went downstairs to find a stranger in the kitchen — pantsless, by the way — surrounded by … Continue reading Woman Breaks Into Home, Eats Fruity Pebbles, Pets Dog

Mar 10, 2026

Sheriff Busted By Own Deputies For DUI

A Georgia sheriff just got busted for DUI… by his own deputies. Yeah. Hall County Sheriff Gerald Couch apparently started his morning with a Four Loko at 6 a.m. — because coffee’s overrated, I guess. By eleven, troopers spotted him driving like Mario Kart with a blindfold and followed him home. When they stopped him, … Continue reading Sheriff Busted By Own Deputies For DUI