Stupid News
Feb 2, 2026
State Troopers Capture Dolly Parton… The Donkey
Michigan State Troopers, probably expecting a standard Tuesday, suddenly got called out to locate Dolly Parton. Not the legendary singer, actress, philanthropist. Dolly Parton the donkey. Seriously, a “missing donkey” situation. Dolly apparently decided she’d had enough farm life and went full outlaw, strutting right out through an open gate like, “See y’all later.” Troopers … Continue reading State Troopers Capture Dolly Parton… The Donkey
Jan 30, 2026
Man Steals Harp, Jumps In River
In Pittsburgh, PA some guy decides to steal a harp. Not like a tiny one you tuck under your arm—no, a full-size, $30,000 harp. The fancy kind that lives in concert halls. He drags it to the riverbank, strips down, and jumps straight into the river. No explanation, no audience—just him, nature, and one very … Continue reading Man Steals Harp, Jumps In River
Jan 29, 2026
Man Drives Flaming Car On Highway
So, picture this a 60‑year‑old dude, slightly marinated in booze, is cruising down a major Florida highway, when his car literally catches fire. Most of us would’ve pulled over, right? Not Patrick Rinaldi. (The afore mentioned 60-year-old dude.) He stopped for a second, watched the smoke billow, then decided, “Eh, it’ll probably work itself out,” … Continue reading Man Drives Flaming Car On Highway
Jan 28, 2026
Assault With A Pork Chop
So, you think your family dinners get tense? In Florida, AGAIN, 18-year-old Farrah Kernan got into a fight with her mom and decided to settle it… with a pork chop. Yep. A literal flying piece of meat. Police say Farrah had been drinking, got into an argument, and smacked her mom in the face before … Continue reading Assault With A Pork Chop
Jan 27, 2026
Assault With A Ketchup Pack
Some people just really hate being woken up. It all went down in Florida, a bus terminal, late last Monday night. A guy named Austin Simmons looks totally passed out on a bench. Someone, being decent, goes to check if he’s okay. Big mistake. Austin wakes up furious, grabs a ketchup packet and hurls it … Continue reading Assault With A Ketchup Pack
Jan 26, 2026
Dude Sells Cars on Facebook, Then Steals Them Back to Sell Again
A guy in Kansas City figured out a genius new business model: sell a car, steal it back, and sell it again. He managed to pull it off eight times before things went sideways. His name’s Mamadou Diallo. Between May and June last year, he sold the same Honda Civic and Buick Verano over and … Continue reading Dude Sells Cars on Facebook, Then Steals Them Back to Sell Again
Jan 23, 2026
Company Taking Reservations for Moon Hotel
So, apparently, you can now book a hotel room on the Moon. A startup called GRU Space is taking reservations for a lunar getaway they swear will open around 2032. You’ll just need to drop a deposit somewhere between $250K and $1 million, and that’s before the rocket ride—another cool $10 million or so. The … Continue reading Company Taking Reservations for Moon Hotel
Jan 22, 2026
Woman Attacks Rival At Gym With Weights
So this woman in Texas spots someone at her gym and realizes, “Oh no, that’s the person my partner’s been ‘involved’ with.” Instead of, I don’t know, walking away like every therapist recommends, 20-something Aralyn Martinez allegedly grabs a 25-pound weight and throws it at the poor woman’s head. Luckily, her aim was about as … Continue reading Woman Attacks Rival At Gym With Weights
Jan 21, 2026
Homeowner Fights Off Burglar With A Frying Pan
At 2:40 in the morning last Friday in Seattle, a 61-year-old homeowner wakes up to find some stranger rummaging through his house. The intruder grabs a kitchen knife, so our homeowner, clearly operating on pure dad instinct, reaches for the next best thing… a frying pan. Yep, cast iron versus kitchen knife. With his 15-year … Continue reading Homeowner Fights Off Burglar With A Frying Pan
Jan 20, 2026
Bill Filed To Allow Oklahoman’s Alligator Ownership
So apparently, Oklahoma might be going full Florida. Senator Jonathan Wingard just filed a bill to let folks own captive-bred alligators! No permit? No problem! It’s called Senate Bill 2087, and it basically says, “Sure, have a gator, just don’t pretend you caught it out back.” If you try to pass off a wild one … Continue reading Bill Filed To Allow Oklahoman’s Alligator Ownership
Jan 19, 2026
Florida Cop Handcuffs Runaway Emu
Florida, where the weird news never sleeps. A deputy gets a call regarding a runaway emu. Yeah, an emu. Not your usual traffic stop. Bodycam’s rolling, and Cpl. Keisler’s out there like, “Dispatch, I’m in pursuit of… an emu.” The bird’s bolting down the road, Keisler’s trying to keep up, and somewhere in all this … Continue reading Florida Cop Handcuffs Runaway Emu
Jan 16, 2026
Teacher Charged For Throwing Shoe At Student
In Woodbridge, Virginia, and police are wrapping up a rather… unexpected investigation at Rippon Middle School. Turns out, a teacher allegedly took her disciplinary methods to new heights — or at least shoe-throwing distance. Back in mid-December, she was apparently talking to an 11-year-old student in the hallway, and for reasons known only to her … Continue reading Teacher Charged For Throwing Shoe At Student