Stupid News

Results for “not”

Mar 20, 2026

Man Uses Google Translate In Attempted Robbery

In Newark, New Jersey, a guy decides he’s gonna rob an Ecuadorian restaurant—using Google Translate. Yeah. His big plan was to type his stickup note into the app, hit “translate to Spanish,” and show it to the cashier. Very 21st century of him. He even ordered a coffee first, because apparently caffeine is key to … Continue reading Man Uses Google Translate In Attempted Robbery

Mar 19, 2026

Drunk-Driving In A Golf Cart

A “pickled pensioner” in North Port, Florida, decided his golf cart was the perfect getaway car after “partying at the club” since noon. It was nine at night. His wife fell out of the cart on the way home, hit her head, and he called 911 … which was the smartest thing he did all … Continue reading Drunk-Driving In A Golf Cart

Mar 17, 2026

Man Caught Smuggling Ants Onto Plane

A Chinese guy was stopped at the airport in Nairobi, Kenya with more than two thousand live queen ants in his luggage. (Surprisingly, not in his pants.) Authorities counted about 1,948 ants crammed into little test tubes, and another 300 wrapped up in tissue paper rolls. Because apparently that’s how you pack your insect empire … Continue reading Man Caught Smuggling Ants Onto Plane

Mar 16, 2026

Ohio Overrun By Bigfoot?

Something’s up in northeast Ohio—either Bigfoot’s been busy or folks there need new glasses. Over just five days, eight sightings popped up around Portage and Trumbull counties—a “flap,” as Bigfoot buffs call it, and the biggest one since the wild ’78 Minerva wave. The first sighting on March 6 was broad daylight. A guy swears … Continue reading Ohio Overrun By Bigfoot?

Mar 12, 2026

Neighborhood Plagued By Nude Burglar

Fairfax County Virginia police are hunting for a man who’s been breaking into homes in Centreville — without bothering to put on any clothes. Yep, we’re talking about a full-blown nude burglar situation. Between March 5th and 8th, at least four residents woke up in the wee hours to find a naked stranger strolling through … Continue reading Neighborhood Plagued By Nude Burglar

Mar 11, 2026

Woman Breaks Into Home, Eats Fruity Pebbles, Pets Dog

Hitting close to home, last Tuesday, a woman in Springfield, Missouri walked into a random house, poured herself some Fruity Pebbles, and started petting the family dog. Totally normal Tuesday, right? The homeowner’s kid smelled something burning and went downstairs to find a stranger in the kitchen — pantsless, by the way — surrounded by … Continue reading Woman Breaks Into Home, Eats Fruity Pebbles, Pets Dog

Mar 6, 2026

Man Busted for DUI During His Driving Test

So get this guy in the U.K. got arrested for drug driving… in the middle of his driving test. Police pulled him over because of a busted brake light, and because he was driving like someone who absolutely should not be driving. When they walked up to the car, they smelled weed, gave him a … Continue reading Man Busted for DUI During His Driving Test

Mar 5, 2026

Heartbroken Man Missing For Ten Days Found In Mud Pit

So, imagine this, Valentine’s Day comes and goes, and you end up heartbroken. What do you do? One Florida Man named Andrew disappears. Total heartbreak, bad breakup, the whole sad playlist. Fast forward ten days, and they finally find him … not in a bar, not on a beach… in a mud pit. Up to … Continue reading Heartbroken Man Missing For Ten Days Found In Mud Pit

Mar 4, 2026

90 years in Prison for Buying Taco Seasoning?

“Put down the taco seasoning and keep your hands where I can see them!” isn’t something you’d normally hear on a detective show, but that’s now a possibility. There’s this guy in Florida—because of course it’s Florida—who might spend the rest of his life in prison over taco seasoning packets. Not because he loved tacos … Continue reading 90 years in Prison for Buying Taco Seasoning?

Feb 25, 2026

Man Heats His Home With Doughnuts

A man in Poland is literally running a Krispy Kreme furnace after he figured out it’s cheaper to heat his house with doughnuts than with wood. Marek Hoffmann noticed that Lidl doughnuts cost about three cents each and pack 440 calories — and since calories are basically heat energy, he did some math. Turns out … Continue reading Man Heats His Home With Doughnuts

Feb 24, 2026

Man Drives Drunk to Pay Open Container Fine

In rural Montana, this 20-something guy drove to the police station to pay a fine for having an open container… and he drove drunk to do it. He strolled in to pay his ticket and file some kind of complaint, but the sheriff hears him slurring like he just left karaoke night. They ask, “Did … Continue reading Man Drives Drunk to Pay Open Container Fine

Feb 18, 2026

Florida Man Gets Locked Inside Van While Robbing It

In Hialeah, Florida. A guy named Dean spots a landscaping van and decides it’s his lucky day. SO he hops in… just as the landscaper locks the doors, turning it into an instant jail on wheels. The landscaper hears banging and screaming from inside, like the van’s possessed. Turns out it’s just Dean, realizing he’s … Continue reading Florida Man Gets Locked Inside Van While Robbing It