Missouri ALDI Turns Clothing Optional Dance Club

In Columbia, Missouri, Sidney Jones walked into the vestibule of an ALDI, took off all his clothes, and just… started dancing. Not shopping. Not browsing. Full-on interpretive gyration right there between the quarter carts and the automatic doors.

Police say this went down around 6:30 in the evening, which is not exactly a low-traffic time. There were kids around, and adults were scrambling to play human blinders while this guy kept the show going inside and outside the entrance.

Surveillance video backs it all up: he parks, walks in, undresses, and hits the dance floor—if your definition of dance floor is an ALDI vestibule.

He’s now facing a misdemeanor charge for sexual misconduct… and has been permanently banned and stripped of his shopping privileges from all ALDI locations, which might be the most devastating part if you’re into budget groceries.

And look, we all know ALDI doesn’t provide bags… but this is not what they meant by bringing your own.