A guy in the seaside town of Oban, Scotland apparently grabbed not one… but TWO live seagulls off the street — just went full “dual-wield” — and used one of them to smack somebody.
Yes. A seagull. As a weapon.
Police were called, tracked him down later, and charged him with assault. They haven’t really explained how this all went down, which honestly raises more questions than it answers.
The good news? The seagulls are totally fine.
Which feels backwards, because normally they’re the ones terrorizing us… stealing fries, dive-bombing tourists, acting like tiny beach mob bosses.
And just in case you’re ever in a standoff with one, experts say the best defense is yelling at them.
Not… swinging one at another human. That part is frowned upon.