Stupid News

Results for “eat”

Jul 16, 2026

Feline-Fueled Felony Fails Fast

Monday morning in Maryland, some dude walks into a pet store, grabs a kitten like he’s late for a meeting, and bolts. Not great. But it gets weirder. He runs straight to the bank next door, strolls up to an employee holding this tiny black-and-white kitten and goes, “Hey, can you hold this?” Then he … Continue reading Feline-Fueled Felony Fails Fast

Jul 14, 2026

Bull Bison Sends Grandpa Airborne

So there’s a viral Yellowstone video that’s equal parts “whoa” and “nope.” (Check it out in the link below.) A bull bison decided it had absolutely had it… chased down and launched a grandpa into the air like a rag doll. The guy was walking with his grandson, keeping what seemed like a respectful distance, … Continue reading Bull Bison Sends Grandpa Airborne

Jul 13, 2026

Sci-Fi School Break-In

A group of teens went full sci-fi during a break-in at their high school. Three teens in North Carolina are now facing charges after police say they used a homemade plasma cannon to break into Smith High School around 2 a.m. Sunday. Yes. Plasma cannon. As in, “we built this in a garage and absolutely … Continue reading Sci-Fi School Break-In

Jul 8, 2026

Meatball Mayhem Sparks Wedding Shooting

A wedding in Wisconsin decided to test the “For better or worse” portion of the vows starting with the reception dinner. A groomsman, decided utensils were optional and just started grabbing and eating meatballs with his bare hands. Bold choice. Questionable, but bold. Someone nearby suggested, “Hey… maybe use a plate?” which feels fair. That … Continue reading Meatball Mayhem Sparks Wedding Shooting

Jul 3, 2026

Booger Sugar Baggie Butt Blunder

A Florida woman gets pulled over last weekend. Sunrise Saturday morning, weaving a little, allegedly not super cooperative. Ends up getting arrested after resisting a deputy and heads off to jail. Now comes intake, where they run her through one of those scanners that basically says, “Hey… something’s not quite right here.” Specifically, her “lower … Continue reading Booger Sugar Baggie Butt Blunder

Jul 2, 2026

Cigarette Carelessness Causes Fiery Fireworks Fallout

A quick reminder as we approach the holiday weekend: cigarettes and fireworks are not a great combo. Cigarettes and 700 pounds of fireworks, even worse. Out on Whidbey Island in Washington, a guy had been quietly building what neighbors describe as a very not-quiet stockpile of fireworks. We’re talking hundreds of pounds, sitting around his … Continue reading Cigarette Carelessness Causes Fiery Fireworks Fallout

Jun 30, 2026

Woman Charged After Pickleball Attack

Pickleball is officially no longer a low-impact sport. In St. Augustine, Florida, a post-game squabble turned into a full-on paddle attack. Cops say a nurse, Michele Bannister, didn’t love how a guy was talking to her son after a doubles match… so she jumped in and started swinging. Not metaphorically. Literally. Paddle to the head. … Continue reading Woman Charged After Pickleball Attack

Jun 19, 2026

Drunk Dude, a Stolen Kayak, and a Snow Shovel

So stupid isn’t reserved to just Florida. In Canada, some dude in the Northwest Territories is now facing charges for… impaired kayaking. (Betting that’s a sentence no one expected to hear today.) Police say he allegedly stole a kayak, took it out on a lake, and — this is the detail that really ties it … Continue reading Drunk Dude, a Stolen Kayak, and a Snow Shovel

Jun 16, 2026

DUI Driver Busted with 34 White Claws

So this guy in Florida gets pulled over doing 90-plus on I-75… already not a great start. But then the trooper walks up and it turns into a whole situation. Sitting in the passenger seat? Not one, not five… 34 open cans of White Claw. Just a full-blown hard seltzer graveyard riding shotgun. The driver, … Continue reading DUI Driver Busted with 34 White Claws

Jun 12, 2026

Teen Torches Walmart Lingerie Aisle

So… this is a new one. … if you had “mysterious lingerie fire” on your bingo card this week, congratulations. Police in Washington are looking for a guy who apparently walked into a Walmart, made a beeline for the lingerie section… and lit a rack of bras on fire. Not subtle, either. Security video shows … Continue reading Teen Torches Walmart Lingerie Aisle

Jun 10, 2026

Bourbon Bandits Boost $500K in Bottles

So this feels less like a crime and more like an incredible heist movie that somehow forgot the dramatic music. Middle of the day. Philadelphia. Totally normal Friday. And somehow… 10,800 bottles of bourbon just casually walk out of a warehouse. We’re talking about 1,800 cases of Noble Oak—roughly half a million bucks—loaded up between … Continue reading Bourbon Bandits Boost $500K in Bottles

Jun 4, 2026

Man Had Kid Hold Flashlight During Robbery

Police in Pennsylvania say a man decided to break into an office building in the middle of the day… and apparently thought, “You know what this crime needs? A kid.” The dude brought his girlfriend’s 11-year-old daughter along like it was some kind of weird field trip. When cops showed up, they found James Harkless-Dechellis … Continue reading Man Had Kid Hold Flashlight During Robbery