So stupid isn't reserved to just Florida.
In Canada, some dude in the Northwest Territories is now facing charges for… impaired kayaking. (Betting that's a sentence no one expected to hear today.)
Police say he allegedly stole a kayak, took it out on a lake, and — this is the detail that really ties it together — used a snow shovel as a paddle.
At some point, physics and poor decisions teamed up. Canadian Mounties show up, find the kayak flipped over, and the guy in the water… too drunk to actually swim back to shore.
So they pull him out, dry him off, and then arrest him.
He’s now charged with impaired operation of a vessel — which, yes, includes kayaks — and refusing a breath test.
Somewhere in there is a life lesson about mixing alcohol, theft, and improvised boating equipment… but honestly, a snow shovel?