Stupid News
Results for “cop”
Jul 28, 2026
Doctors Warn Against Cyclospora Diet Craze
So… apparently the internet has decided the latest “diet trend” is the cyclospora stomach parasite, and doctors are having to say “NOOOOOOOO!” Arizona’s dealing with 36 confirmed cases of cyclospora — yeah, the one sometimes linked to contaminated lettuce — and doctors are now having to say out loud, “please don’t try to get this … Continue reading Doctors Warn Against Cyclospora Diet Craze
Jul 27, 2026
SWAT Truck Taken For Joyride
So this guy in New Jersey wakes up early Tuesday morning and thinks, “You know what I should steal? Not a Kia… not a Hyundai… no, let’s aim higher.” And by higher, we’re talking a $500,000 armored SWAT vehicle. Yeah, he took a BearCat. One of those massive, nine-ton, not-even-slightly-subtle police tanks meant for, you … Continue reading SWAT Truck Taken For Joyride
Jul 24, 2026
Florida Feline Finds Fugitive
Dogs might be man’s best friend, but cats? Apparently they’ll flip on you in a heartbeat. So this woman in Leesburg, Florida tries to break into a house, things go sideways, and she takes off running. Deputies roll in, set up the whole production—helicopter, drone, K9 unit—the works. Very official. Very serious. And then… a … Continue reading Florida Feline Finds Fugitive
Jul 22, 2026
Drunken Daredevil Surfs Train Top Naked
Cops arrested a guy from Arizona who decided the best way to travel was naked… on top of a moving train. Not inside. Not near it. Fully on top, like some kind of extremely underdressed action movie stunt. His name’s Daniel Ballance, and apparently before the ride ended, he made sure everyone knew about his … Continue reading Drunken Daredevil Surfs Train Top Naked
Jul 21, 2026
Man Stuck in Porta-Potty For a Mountain Dew
In Kansas City last week a guy got stuck inside a porta-potty. And not, like, locked in. He was IN the porta-potty. A worker shows up to pick it up, door’s locked, guy inside says he’s “not coming out.” Always a promising start. Cop gets involved, tells him to open the door… guy says he … Continue reading Man Stuck in Porta-Potty For a Mountain Dew
Jul 15, 2026
Felony Fail: Selfies Foil Theft
Two guys in California allegedly pulled off a $100,000 burglary—tools, copper wire, even vehicles—from a business in American Canyon. Pretty big score… right up until they decided to document the whole thing like it was a vacation. Yep. Selfies. During the crime. Police say those photos helped ID their vehicles, which got shared with other … Continue reading Felony Fail: Selfies Foil Theft
Jul 13, 2026
Sci-Fi School Break-In
A group of teens went full sci-fi during a break-in at their high school. Three teens in North Carolina are now facing charges after police say they used a homemade plasma cannon to break into Smith High School around 2 a.m. Sunday. Yes. Plasma cannon. As in, “we built this in a garage and absolutely … Continue reading Sci-Fi School Break-In
Jul 7, 2026
Karma Catches Crook Mid-Crime
A guy in Maryland called police to report his car stolen… which is already a bad day. But it gets better. Because while his car was being stolen, he was allegedly across the street… burglarizing a Verizon store. Yeah. Timing is everything. Cops show up, start connecting dots pretty quickly. There’s blood on the broken … Continue reading Karma Catches Crook Mid-Crime
Jul 6, 2026
Deputy Attempts Goat Whispering in Washington
For real. A goat led Washington deputies on a chase. They offered it bribes and attempting to speak it’s language, until a brave civilian risked it all to bring down the bad-news-billy. Here’s a video. Photo by Maxime Agnelli on Unsplash
Jun 30, 2026
Woman Charged After Pickleball Attack
Pickleball is officially no longer a low-impact sport. In St. Augustine, Florida, a post-game squabble turned into a full-on paddle attack. Cops say a nurse, Michele Bannister, didn’t love how a guy was talking to her son after a doubles match… so she jumped in and started swinging. Not metaphorically. Literally. Paddle to the head. … Continue reading Woman Charged After Pickleball Attack
Jun 18, 2026
Make-believe Lawyer Makes Messy Traffic Stop Worse
Florida traffic stop, middle of the night, things are already going sideways when officers find controlled substances in the car. The driver does what anyone in trouble does… calls a “lawyer.” And sure enough, this guy rolls up in a full suit and tie like he just stepped out of a courtroom drama. Starts throwing … Continue reading Make-believe Lawyer Makes Messy Traffic Stop Worse
Jun 15, 2026
Florida Carjacker and French Fry
In Florida Cory Coddington crashed his SUV, stole another car, and you won’t believe what he did at Chick-fil-A. So, first he crashes his SUV into a tree… and when a woman pulls over to help, he thanks her by stealing her car. But wait…it somehow gets weirder. He drives to Chick-fil-A, stumbles in covered … Continue reading Florida Carjacker and French Fry