Stupid News
Results for “ever”
Jan 29, 2026
Man Drives Flaming Car On Highway
So, picture this a 60‑year‑old dude, slightly marinated in booze, is cruising down a major Florida highway, when his car literally catches fire. Most of us would’ve pulled over, right? Not Patrick Rinaldi. (The afore mentioned 60-year-old dude.) He stopped for a second, watched the smoke billow, then decided, “Eh, it’ll probably work itself out,” … Continue reading Man Drives Flaming Car On Highway
Jan 22, 2026
Woman Attacks Rival At Gym With Weights
So this woman in Texas spots someone at her gym and realizes, “Oh no, that’s the person my partner’s been ‘involved’ with.” Instead of, I don’t know, walking away like every therapist recommends, 20-something Aralyn Martinez allegedly grabs a 25-pound weight and throws it at the poor woman’s head. Luckily, her aim was about as … Continue reading Woman Attacks Rival At Gym With Weights
Jan 21, 2026
Homeowner Fights Off Burglar With A Frying Pan
At 2:40 in the morning last Friday in Seattle, a 61-year-old homeowner wakes up to find some stranger rummaging through his house. The intruder grabs a kitchen knife, so our homeowner, clearly operating on pure dad instinct, reaches for the next best thing… a frying pan. Yep, cast iron versus kitchen knife. With his 15-year … Continue reading Homeowner Fights Off Burglar With A Frying Pan
Jan 19, 2026
Florida Cop Handcuffs Runaway Emu
Florida, where the weird news never sleeps. A deputy gets a call regarding a runaway emu. Yeah, an emu. Not your usual traffic stop. Bodycam’s rolling, and Cpl. Keisler’s out there like, “Dispatch, I’m in pursuit of… an emu.” The bird’s bolting down the road, Keisler’s trying to keep up, and somewhere in all this … Continue reading Florida Cop Handcuffs Runaway Emu
Jan 14, 2026
Search For Monkeys In St. Louis Hampered by Fake AI Posts
There are monkeys on the loose in St. Louis. They were first spotted hanging around O’Fallon Park last week, just living their best life in “The Lou.” Nobody knows where they came from, but since owning exotic animals is illegal in the city, someone out there is probably sweating right now. The St. Louis Zoo … Continue reading Search For Monkeys In St. Louis Hampered by Fake AI Posts
Jan 13, 2026
Mayor Tells Residents Not To Eat Toilet Seats
So, there’s a mayor in Tasmania who had to post a public reminder that honestly shouldn’t exist: “Please don’t eat toilet seats.” Apparently, Mayor Michelle Dracoulis found bite marks—actual bite marks—on a public toilet seat. And because this is the world we live in, she had to take to social media to say, in all … Continue reading Mayor Tells Residents Not To Eat Toilet Seats
Jan 12, 2026
Future Mermaid Arrested For Skinny Dipping
Down in small-town Louisiana, in peaceful pond, one determined woman was chasing her inner Ariel. Police in Linville, just north of Monroe, showed up to a neighbor’s property after reports of a naked trespasser — turns out, it was Erin Sutton, mid-dip, fully committed to “becoming a mermaid.” Not her first visit, apparently. The pond’s … Continue reading Future Mermaid Arrested For Skinny Dipping
Dec 2, 2025
Thieves Steal $100,000 in Snails
Everyone wonders where the Escargot Escar-went. More on the crime that left the victims shell-shocked HERE!
Nov 28, 2025
Entire Band Quits and Abandons Singer at a Gas Station
This is going to ruin the tour. Read the full story here. Caution: Explicit Language Photo by Hans Eiskonen on Unsplash
Nov 25, 2025
Intoxicated School Bus Driver Blames the NyQuil
It’s his nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, fever, stuffy nose, show up to work legally drunk remedy! Read the full story here. Photo by Joshua Hoehne on Unsplash
Nov 10, 2025
Five Thieves Rob Cashless Bank
The only thing they stole was a bit of everyone’s time. More on what happens when crime meets the cashless age HERE!
Nov 7, 2025
Purdue Peanut Butter Pedestrian
Guess things really DO get weird after midterms. The story that has left everyone hungry for answers HERE!