Stupid News

Results for “eat”

Aug 27, 2026

The Great $30 Walmart Caper

Police in Albany, Georgia, launched a manhunt for guy who picked up $30 from a Walmart floor and did not turn it in. 

Aug 24, 2026

Vader Voices Support For Flock Cameras

Darth Vader has apparently added “city council activist” to his résumé. A guy in full Vader gear showed up at a San Diego City Council meeting to support controversial Flock license-plate cameras — if you can call it support when the argument is basically, “The Emperor needs this to track rebel scum.” Between the signature … Continue reading Vader Voices Support For Flock Cameras

Aug 17, 2026

Fisherman Fights Face-Hugging Octopus

This gives new meaning to “separation anxiety.” In a WILD viral video, a Pilipino fisherman had reeled in an octopus, and the little sea Houdini immediately latched onto his face. Jesser Cervantes was on a wooden dinghy when the eight-armed escape artist wrapped itself around his head, covering his mouth and refusing to clock out. He … Continue reading Fisherman Fights Face-Hugging Octopus

Aug 14, 2026

Pilot Pops Positive for Pot

Air India has a new policy that’s basically, “Let’s make sure nobody’s flying high before they fly high.” After a flight from Phuket to Delhi suddenly dropped about 300 feet last week, injuring 17 passengers and crew, the captain tested positive for marijuana. Reports say the captain was standing behind the co-pilot’s seat when the … Continue reading Pilot Pops Positive for Pot

Aug 12, 2026

Florida Diving Drama Over Lobster

Florida’s lobster season apparently brought out the worst kind of territorial behavior: the kind that involves allegedly cutting off a teenager’s air supply. Authorities say 51-year-old Michael Simpson was upset that another boat had anchored near what he considered his lobster-diving spot off Miami. He reportedly circled the boat, argued with the captain, then made … Continue reading Florida Diving Drama Over Lobster

Aug 10, 2026

Florida Parking Lot Blade Brawl

Two Florida men allegedly turned a dispute over an ex-girlfriend into a showdown involving a hatchet, a machete, and what I can only assume was a very confused grocery list. Police say Everette Krichbaum was sitting in his car when James Gay approached him. Words were exchanged, Krichbaum allegedly pulled a hatchet, and Gay reportedly … Continue reading Florida Parking Lot Blade Brawl

Aug 5, 2026

Toupée Turns Into Trafficking Trouble

A gentleman flying from Bogota, Columbia to Barcelona, Spain decided the best way to smuggle about thirty‑four grand worth of cocaine was… under a toupee. Not in a suitcase, not in a secret compartment. Just taped to his head, topped off with the world’s most suspicious wig. Security notices this guy looking nervous, and his … Continue reading Toupée Turns Into Trafficking Trouble

Aug 3, 2026

Uninvited Breakfast Bartender Busted

Imagine this: it’s 6:30 in the morning, you’re barely conscious, the dogs start going nuts, and you’re thinking, “Great, what now?” You grab your firearm, head downstairs… and there’s your neighbor in the kitchen, rocking a towel on his head like it’s spa day, while he works on a budget margarita. He’s already tried the … Continue reading Uninvited Breakfast Bartender Busted

Jul 30, 2026

Lottery Jackpot Winner Arrested for FOURTH Time

So, apparently winning $167 million does not come with a “how not to get arrested four times” manual. There’s this guy, James Farthing from Georgetown, Kentucky — he hit the Powerball in April, biggest jackpot in state history, said he was going to split it with his mom and give her the best Mother’s Day … Continue reading Lottery Jackpot Winner Arrested for FOURTH Time

Jul 29, 2026

Boobies, Doobies and Uzis

Picture this (Or maybe DON’T): small-town Mississippi, late evening, and a Dodge Challenger just creeping along like it forgot where it parked. Cops pull it over—and surprise—it’s being driven by a completely naked young woman. Not “oops, forgot shoes” naked. Fully committed. Officers say Katelyn Maxwell seemed under the influence, and the car smelled like … Continue reading Boobies, Doobies and Uzis

Jul 28, 2026

Doctors Warn Against Cyclospora Diet Craze

So… apparently the internet has decided the latest “diet trend” is the cyclospora stomach parasite, and doctors are having to say “NOOOOOOOO!” Arizona’s dealing with 36 confirmed cases of cyclospora — yeah, the one sometimes linked to contaminated lettuce — and doctors are now having to say out loud, “please don’t try to get this … Continue reading Doctors Warn Against Cyclospora Diet Craze

Jul 24, 2026

Florida Feline Finds Fugitive

Dogs might be man’s best friend, but cats? Apparently they’ll flip on you in a heartbeat. So this woman in Leesburg, Florida tries to break into a house, things go sideways, and she takes off running. Deputies roll in, set up the whole production—helicopter, drone, K9 unit—the works. Very official. Very serious. And then… a … Continue reading Florida Feline Finds Fugitive