Stupid News

Results for “eat”

Mar 27, 2026

Man Arrested For The 98th Time

So, there’s this guy in Washington who just got arrested for the 98th time. At this point, I think he’s not avoiding jail—he’s collecting frequent flyer miles. Police say he took off on a high-speed chase through Olympia after stealing a few thousand bucks’ worth of stuff from multiple stores. They eventually caught up with … Continue reading Man Arrested For The 98th Time

Mar 26, 2026

Mammoth Mistake at Ozarks Museum

So, two guys from California made some truly prehistoric bad decisions while visiting the Ancient Ozarks Natural History Museum at the Top of the Rock in Ridgedale, Missouri. Brett Howard and Todd Azevedo — who are both old enough to know better — were checking out the museum when one genius said, “Hey, lift me … Continue reading Mammoth Mistake at Ozarks Museum

Mar 20, 2026

Man Uses Google Translate In Attempted Robbery

In Newark, New Jersey, a guy decides he’s gonna rob an Ecuadorian restaurant—using Google Translate. Yeah. His big plan was to type his stickup note into the app, hit “translate to Spanish,” and show it to the cashier. Very 21st century of him. He even ordered a coffee first, because apparently caffeine is key to … Continue reading Man Uses Google Translate In Attempted Robbery

Mar 19, 2026

Drunk-Driving In A Golf Cart

A “pickled pensioner” in North Port, Florida, decided his golf cart was the perfect getaway car after “partying at the club” since noon. It was nine at night. His wife fell out of the cart on the way home, hit her head, and he called 911 … which was the smartest thing he did all … Continue reading Drunk-Driving In A Golf Cart

Mar 11, 2026

Woman Breaks Into Home, Eats Fruity Pebbles, Pets Dog

Hitting close to home, last Tuesday, a woman in Springfield, Missouri walked into a random house, poured herself some Fruity Pebbles, and started petting the family dog. Totally normal Tuesday, right? The homeowner’s kid smelled something burning and went downstairs to find a stranger in the kitchen — pantsless, by the way — surrounded by … Continue reading Woman Breaks Into Home, Eats Fruity Pebbles, Pets Dog

Mar 3, 2026

Whataburger Manager Takes Down Assault Suspect With Trash Can

A Whataburger manager in Paris, Texas just added “trash can combat specialist” to his résumé. Apparently, a drunk customer started mouthing off at the staff, got asked to leave—then came back swinging and actually punched the manager. Rookie mistake. After a few hits, the manager shakes it off, goes full WWE, and grabs the nearest … Continue reading Whataburger Manager Takes Down Assault Suspect With Trash Can

Feb 26, 2026

Suspect On The Run Hides In Trash Can

So, this guy in Huber Heights, Ohio, takes off running after a traffic stop. Cops lose him for a bit, but they hang around the neighborhood—because, you know, fugitives don’t usually make great getaway plans. Meanwhile, it’s trash day. A sanitation worker rolls a can up to the truck, pops the lid, and almost jumps … Continue reading Suspect On The Run Hides In Trash Can

Feb 25, 2026

Man Heats His Home With Doughnuts

A man in Poland is literally running a Krispy Kreme furnace after he figured out it’s cheaper to heat his house with doughnuts than with wood. Marek Hoffmann noticed that Lidl doughnuts cost about three cents each and pack 440 calories — and since calories are basically heat energy, he did some math. Turns out … Continue reading Man Heats His Home With Doughnuts

Feb 24, 2026

Man Drives Drunk to Pay Open Container Fine

In rural Montana, this 20-something guy drove to the police station to pay a fine for having an open container… and he drove drunk to do it. He strolled in to pay his ticket and file some kind of complaint, but the sheriff hears him slurring like he just left karaoke night. They ask, “Did … Continue reading Man Drives Drunk to Pay Open Container Fine

Feb 23, 2026

Naked Man Steals Ambulance… Patient Still Onboard

So, picture this — you’re in the back of an ambulance, minding your own business… when suddenly it starts moving. And your driver? A naked guy who was just doing push-ups in public. Police in Wisconsin Rapids say Benjamin Feltz hopped into an ambulance while paramedics were treating someone in the back. One paramedic tried … Continue reading Naked Man Steals Ambulance… Patient Still Onboard

Feb 16, 2026

Seniors Got Into Huge Picklebrawl

On Super Bowl Sunday, a Florida pickleball game turned full WWE. It went down at a country club near Daytona when Anthony Sapienza, decided his opponents stepped into the ‘kitchen.’ (That’s a pickleball thing — you can’t volley from there. Apparently it’s serious business.) Arguments flew, then Anthony allegedly dropped the C-word at one of … Continue reading Seniors Got Into Huge Picklebrawl

Feb 9, 2026

Serial Pooper Busted By Drone

So, in the small Wisconsin town of Stoughton, everything is lovely. Except lately, folks kept finding human POO in one of their parks. Every morning, like clockwork. The locals were, understandably, not thrilled. Police got creative. They set up trail cams, tracked a pattern, and finally sent in a drone. And there she was—caught mid‑squat, … Continue reading Serial Pooper Busted By Drone