Stupid News
Results for “assault”
Oct 29, 2026
Football Fan Facing Felonies Over Sunday Silence Scheme
He allegedly taped his wife to a chair in the basement
Oct 5, 2026
Cheesesteak Chucking Chucklehead Sought for Sandwich Assault
Restaurant Manager Hit by Cheesesteak During Dispute with Social Media Influencer Suspect
Sep 23, 2026
Booze Blew A Fuse Over Long Line, Pulled Pistol
Woman pulls a pistol after a long wait at a checkout line
Sep 18, 2026
Suspect Lands In Dog House... Literally
K-9 Cop Catches Suspect in Canine Hideout
Aug 19, 2026
Florida Man Poop Problem
A Florida neighbor feud went from “please pick up after your dog” to “why is there poop flying through my house?” Police say Trey Decloedt had been arguing with the couple next door over dog mess left around their shared driveway. The disagreement reportedly hit a new low when he allegedly walked into their home … Continue reading Florida Man Poop Problem
Jul 30, 2026
Lottery Jackpot Winner Arrested for FOURTH Time
So, apparently winning $167 million does not come with a “how not to get arrested four times” manual. There’s this guy, James Farthing from Georgetown, Kentucky — he hit the Powerball in April, biggest jackpot in state history, said he was going to split it with his mom and give her the best Mother’s Day … Continue reading Lottery Jackpot Winner Arrested for FOURTH Time
Jul 10, 2026
Scottish Seagull Assault
A guy in the seaside town of Oban, Scotland apparently grabbed not one… but TWO live seagulls off the street — just went full “dual-wield” — and used one of them to smack somebody. Yes. A seagull. As a weapon. Police were called, tracked him down later, and charged him with assault. They haven’t really … Continue reading Scottish Seagull Assault
Jun 9, 2026
Road Rage Incident Turns Musical
In Fremont, California, where two drivers were already having a very normal bad day—tailgating, honking, the usual “I will absolutely ruin both our afternoons” energy. They pull over, get out, and start throwing punches like it’s a deleted scene from a low-budget action movie. And then—plot twist—one guy reaches into his car… and grabs a … Continue reading Road Rage Incident Turns Musical
Mar 3, 2026
Whataburger Manager Takes Down Assault Suspect With Trash Can
A Whataburger manager in Paris, Texas just added “trash can combat specialist” to his résumé. Apparently, a drunk customer started mouthing off at the staff, got asked to leave—then came back swinging and actually punched the manager. Rookie mistake. After a few hits, the manager shakes it off, goes full WWE, and grabs the nearest … Continue reading Whataburger Manager Takes Down Assault Suspect With Trash Can
Feb 17, 2026
Man Arrested for Cupcake Assault
A political debate turned into a pastry war at Cape Coral’s Four Mile Ecological Preserve. Police say David Sternal got into it with a city employee and allegedly fired off a cupcake mid-argument — yes, weaponized frosting. Officers found Sternal nearby in a gazebo, reportedly still frosted, claiming the other guy started it. Police described … Continue reading Man Arrested for Cupcake Assault
Jan 28, 2026
Assault With A Pork Chop
So, you think your family dinners get tense? In Florida, AGAIN, 18-year-old Farrah Kernan got into a fight with her mom and decided to settle it… with a pork chop. Yep. A literal flying piece of meat. Police say Farrah had been drinking, got into an argument, and smacked her mom in the face before … Continue reading Assault With A Pork Chop
Jan 27, 2026
Assault With A Ketchup Pack
Some people just really hate being woken up. It all went down in Florida, a bus terminal, late last Monday night. A guy named Austin Simmons looks totally passed out on a bench. Someone, being decent, goes to check if he’s okay. Big mistake. Austin wakes up furious, grabs a ketchup packet and hurls it … Continue reading Assault With A Ketchup Pack