All Posts

Results for “criminal”

Aug 25, 2026

Florida Police Seek Smooth Criminal

Florida police are looking for a gas-station robber who may have taken “Smooth Criminal” a little too literally. The guy allegedly walked into a convenience store wearing one white glove, a tan sun hat, a medical mask, a light green shirt, and black pants. So: part Michael Jackson, part retired golfer, part guy who absolutely … Continue reading Florida Police Seek Smooth Criminal

Aug 18, 2026

Bank Bandit Kitty Finds New Home

In a Stupid News follow up…the kitten who got dragged into an attempted bank robbery has officially left her life of crime behind. Three-month-old Magnolia, a panda-colored kitten with absolutely no criminal record, despite what the internet may suggest, was snatched from a Pet Supplies Plus in Beltsville, Maryland, on July 13. The guy who … Continue reading Bank Bandit Kitty Finds New Home

Aug 14, 2026

Pilot Pops Positive for Pot

Air India has a new policy that’s basically, “Let’s make sure nobody’s flying high before they fly high.” After a flight from Phuket to Delhi suddenly dropped about 300 feet last week, injuring 17 passengers and crew, the captain tested positive for marijuana. Reports say the captain was standing behind the co-pilot’s seat when the … Continue reading Pilot Pops Positive for Pot

Aug 4, 2026

Idiot Busted Burglar ID’s Himself

Cops in Miami-Dade pick up Christopher Chiofalo — a man they are VERY familiar with, because he’s been arrested almost 20 times. They take him down to the station and cue up the security video from a Cuban restaurant that got hit back on July 25th. He watches it for a second and goes, “Oh … Continue reading Idiot Busted Burglar ID’s Himself

Jul 27, 2026

SWAT Truck Taken For Joyride

So this guy in New Jersey wakes up early Tuesday morning and thinks, “You know what I should steal? Not a Kia… not a Hyundai… no, let’s aim higher.” And by higher, we’re talking a $500,000 armored SWAT vehicle. Yeah, he took a BearCat. One of those massive, nine-ton, not-even-slightly-subtle police tanks meant for, you … Continue reading SWAT Truck Taken For Joyride

Jun 17, 2026

Love Island Leads to Legal Trouble

So this might be the most relatable bad decision of the week… just taken way too far. An Arizona woman got pulled over doing 108 in a 65. Trooper asks what’s going on, and she’s completely honest — says she’s trying to get home in time for Love Island. Which, look… we respect the commitment. … Continue reading Love Island Leads to Legal Trouble

May 13, 2026

Hot Dog Heist at High School

There’s a very fine line between a high school prank and… whatever this was. Down in Florida, two guys hopped a fence at a high school in the middle of the night, found an unlocked door, and just… made themselves at home. They rode around on bikes meant for special needs students, poked through classrooms, … Continue reading Hot Dog Heist at High School

Apr 23, 2026

Pasta-Packed Packages Part of Lego Larceny

Some guy in California just turned pasta into a criminal accessory. Police say Jarrelle Augustine was buying high-end Lego sets—Star Wars, Marvel, the good stuff—then swapping out the pieces for dry pasta. Sealing the box back up, returning it, and pocketing the refund. And here’s the sneaky part: the pasta actually sounds like Legos when … Continue reading Pasta-Packed Packages Part of Lego Larceny

Apr 14, 2026

Hold The Peppers, Bring the Police

You know how disappointing it is when your sandwich isn’t quite right? Well, one Florida woman took “extra spicy” to a new level. Police say I’munique Clark flipped out at a Subway in St. Petersburg after her online order came with…PEPPERS. The horror. When employees wouldn’t make her a new one, she shoved the cash … Continue reading Hold The Peppers, Bring the Police

Mar 30, 2026

Fast and Furry-ous in Florida

Down in Florida, Gregory Dolcine gets pulled over doing 101 in a 55. Middle of the night, 1 A.M., car practically taking flight over a bridge. The deputy asks “What were you thinking?,” and the guy goes, “I was speeding to avoid an animal.” Now, that’s a new one. Was it a gator? A python? … Continue reading Fast and Furry-ous in Florida

Mar 20, 2026

Man Uses Google Translate In Attempted Robbery

In Newark, New Jersey, a guy decides he’s gonna rob an Ecuadorian restaurant—using Google Translate. Yeah. His big plan was to type his stickup note into the app, hit “translate to Spanish,” and show it to the cashier. Very 21st century of him. He even ordered a coffee first, because apparently caffeine is key to … Continue reading Man Uses Google Translate In Attempted Robbery

Feb 17, 2026

Man Arrested for Cupcake Assault

A political debate turned into a pastry war at Cape Coral’s Four Mile Ecological Preserve. Police say David Sternal got into it with a city employee and allegedly fired off a cupcake mid-argument — yes, weaponized frosting. Officers found Sternal nearby in a gazebo, reportedly still frosted, claiming the other guy started it. Police described … Continue reading Man Arrested for Cupcake Assault