Stupid News
Aug 18, 2026
Bank Bandit Kitty Finds New Home
In a Stupid News follow up…the kitten who got dragged into an attempted bank robbery has officially left her life of crime behind. Three-month-old Magnolia, a panda-colored kitten with absolutely no criminal record, despite what the internet may suggest, was snatched from a Pet Supplies Plus in Beltsville, Maryland, on July 13. The guy who … Continue reading Bank Bandit Kitty Finds New Home
Aug 17, 2026
Fisherman Fights Face-Hugging Octopus
This gives new meaning to “separation anxiety.” In a WILD viral video, a Pilipino fisherman had reeled in an octopus, and the little sea Houdini immediately latched onto his face. Jesser Cervantes was on a wooden dinghy when the eight-armed escape artist wrapped itself around his head, covering his mouth and refusing to clock out. He … Continue reading Fisherman Fights Face-Hugging Octopus
Aug 14, 2026
Pilot Pops Positive for Pot
Air India has a new policy that’s basically, “Let’s make sure nobody’s flying high before they fly high.” After a flight from Phuket to Delhi suddenly dropped about 300 feet last week, injuring 17 passengers and crew, the captain tested positive for marijuana. Reports say the captain was standing behind the co-pilot’s seat when the … Continue reading Pilot Pops Positive for Pot
Aug 13, 2026
Player Practices With Snake in Helmet
An Arkansas high school football player learned the hard way that “check your equipment” is more than just coach-speak. The Maumelle High player practiced for about an hour with a two-foot cottonmouth snake hiding under the padding of his helmet. Yes, a cottonmouth. The venomous kind. Not exactly the sort of extra protection you want … Continue reading Player Practices With Snake in Helmet
Aug 12, 2026
Florida Diving Drama Over Lobster
Florida’s lobster season apparently brought out the worst kind of territorial behavior: the kind that involves allegedly cutting off a teenager’s air supply. Authorities say 51-year-old Michael Simpson was upset that another boat had anchored near what he considered his lobster-diving spot off Miami. He reportedly circled the boat, argued with the captain, then made … Continue reading Florida Diving Drama Over Lobster
Aug 11, 2026
Florida Front Porch Gator Guest
In Florida, checking the front porch has become a full-on wildlife documentary. A Palm Bay, Florida family got a late-night motion alert from their garage camera—and found a seven-and-a-half-foot alligator making itself very comfortable right in front of the door. The family watched from the safety of the window as this prehistoric porch pirate crawled … Continue reading Florida Front Porch Gator Guest
Aug 10, 2026
Florida Parking Lot Blade Brawl
Two Florida men allegedly turned a dispute over an ex-girlfriend into a showdown involving a hatchet, a machete, and what I can only assume was a very confused grocery list. Police say Everette Krichbaum was sitting in his car when James Gay approached him. Words were exchanged, Krichbaum allegedly pulled a hatchet, and Gay reportedly … Continue reading Florida Parking Lot Blade Brawl
Aug 7, 2026
Rooftop Reaper Rattles Patients
Potential patients walking into a hospital in North Wales, UK, were greeted by a grim sight as they looked up to see what appeared to be the Grim Reaper just standing on the roof, silently staring down at them. That was actually Leon Gillespie, in an all-black hooded getup, waving what looked very much like … Continue reading Rooftop Reaper Rattles Patients
Aug 6, 2026
Busted For Bringing Home The Bacon… and Vodka
A woman in Roseville, California decided she was gonna bring home the bacon… and the vodka… by skipping the whole “paying” part. She hits a Bel Air store first, stuffs at least 14 packs of Oscar Mayer thick-cut bacon and six handles of Tito’s into her bag, then strolls to self-checkout like she’s just grabbing … Continue reading Busted For Bringing Home The Bacon… and Vodka
Aug 5, 2026
Toupée Turns Into Trafficking Trouble
A gentleman flying from Bogota, Columbia to Barcelona, Spain decided the best way to smuggle about thirty‑four grand worth of cocaine was… under a toupee. Not in a suitcase, not in a secret compartment. Just taped to his head, topped off with the world’s most suspicious wig. Security notices this guy looking nervous, and his … Continue reading Toupée Turns Into Trafficking Trouble
Aug 4, 2026
Idiot Busted Burglar ID’s Himself
Cops in Miami-Dade pick up Christopher Chiofalo — a man they are VERY familiar with, because he’s been arrested almost 20 times. They take him down to the station and cue up the security video from a Cuban restaurant that got hit back on July 25th. He watches it for a second and goes, “Oh … Continue reading Idiot Busted Burglar ID’s Himself
Aug 3, 2026
Uninvited Breakfast Bartender Busted
Imagine this: it’s 6:30 in the morning, you’re barely conscious, the dogs start going nuts, and you’re thinking, “Great, what now?” You grab your firearm, head downstairs… and there’s your neighbor in the kitchen, rocking a towel on his head like it’s spa day, while he works on a budget margarita. He’s already tried the … Continue reading Uninvited Breakfast Bartender Busted